10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Sensible heads prevail. Picture: Getty Images

Good morning.

1. Markets aren’t so great, following a couple of less-than-stellar earnings reports from the banks and news BHP could be sued for a casual $58 billion. On the ASX, eight out of 10 sectors were in the red yesterday. But even after more falls offshore overnight, the June SPI 200 contract is only 13 points, 0.2% lower. Go figure. The Aussie dollar’s still under pressure, and iron ore is starting to tumble again, but NAB has got things off to a good start with half-year cash earnings up 6.5% to $3.31 billion.

2. Your next English soccer season will be… expensive. Especially if you don’t want to give up Foxtel, because you’ll have to fork out for an Optus plan. Fans are so furious, they’ve made our Harry Tucker use the word “oppobrium” in his excellent yarn about how Optus stole the English Premier League from Foxtel.

3. Ugh. This real estate poison in our system. Ugly developments crowding out the skyline and dissolving our right to a decent bit of space are killing off entire neighbourhood communities. Like this one in Castle Hill, Sydney, which, when told it’s now zoned ripe for development, has decided to all chuck in and sell their 25 homes together. That’s 25 households, once bonded by the local shop, pub and park, now all heading their separate ways, to be replaced by a couple of hundred negatively geared grey-and-white investment-only cubicles. Apparently we should care about the poor real estate agents who engineered this mess.

4. Anyhoo, if you want your kids to have any chance of owning a decent home, just buy it for them. You’re wealthy, right? We hope so, because that’s Malcolm Turnbull’s solution.

5. The Oils are back, now Peter Garrett’s over his midlife crisis:


This is excellent news. Well, it would be if there was any floor space left in pokie halls RSLs around the country.

6. Tesla reported its earnings and all is well. Its loss per share was $0.57, narrower than expected, it generated $1.6 billion in revenue and expects to deliver 20,000 vehicles in the second quarter, or 30% more than it did in the same period a year ago. It’s also two years ahead of its goal of producing 500,000 vehicles by 2018. So here’s why billionaire hedge fund manager Jim Chanos says Tesla stock sucks, and he’s short.

7. World’s best boss. That would be Chobani founder Hamdi Ulakaya, who just gave every Chobani employee shares that are worth $US150,000 to $US1 million. How did your last pay rise request go again?

8. The real Donald Trump is not a politician. Is not a moderate. Is not even a great financial manager, given the amount of times he’s gone bust. He probably won’t be a great president of the US, if he gets to the Oval Office. But he is absolutely one thing that will make sure he has every chance of getting there, and our editor in chief Henry Blodget said it’s something Democrats need to start worrying about. This.

9. Is your iPhone acting much slower than it should? Don’t buy a new one. We’ve found 11 ways to make it run faster. You’re welcome.

10. George Lucas killed Boba Fett because he couldn’t be bothered making the final Star Wars trilogy. Craig Miller was an unofficial adviser and Lucasfilm’s first official fan relations officer in the late 70s, and he told that story to Inverse. Apparently Lucas was already burnt out with the franchise halfway through filming “Empire Strikes Back”. And because of that, its second-greatest character had to die. (Still no talk of Lando in Episode VIII.)

BONUS ITEM: Stop the press. We have a new World’s Longest Golf Club:

Have a great day.

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