10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Don’t be fooled. Picture: Aardman Animations

Good morning.

1. Tesla didn’t lose as much money as Wall Street analysts thought it would. It burned through $US1.16 billion in cash in the second quarter, and will produce 1500 Model 3s in the next quarter. That, in Elon Musk’s world, is considered “on track” to deliver 500,000 Model 3s next year. Still, the stock price has put on 52% this year and short sellers are finally getting tired of betting against it. And the US military likes Tesla, too – here’s video of a Model S dragging off a U2 spy plane, for research purposes.

2. Elon Musk’s other big dream (one of them), the Hyperloop, is slowly taking shape on a test track in Nevada. While Musk only flagged the concept, several companies have rushed to develop it, and last weekend, Hyperloop One got a passenger pod to travel at 308km/h in a vacuum-sealed tube. The goal is 1100km/h.

3. Your immortality has arrived, almost. A team of scientists announced they cured several patients of a type of heart disease called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy that can cause sudden cardiac arrest, by altering their genes using the CRISPR-Cas9 editing technique. The big deal was the patients were human embryos. “Designer babies” are now possible.

4. The Dow broke through 22,000 for the first time. 72% of US reporting companies have beat estimates this earnings season. And the US dollar began dipping again as the euro and pound strengthened. Interesting times. And as earnings season gets under way in Australia, ASX200 futures traders are more bullish today after Rio reported a half year profit of almost $4 billion and gave most of it back to shareholders. The Aussie dollar is ambling along, as traders wait for the balance of international trade figures from the ABS at 11:30am AEST.

5. There are few cooler things on planet Earth than lightning striking an exploding volcano:

Picture: National Geographic/Sergio Tapiro Velasco

Sergio Tapiro Velasco was in Comala, Mexico, when that particular example lit up the sky, and happened to have his camera handy. It saw him named the National Geographic’s Travel Photographer of the Year, and here are 14 other images that are just as amazing from the competition, including Donavon Frankenreiter surfing underwater.

6. Amazon out to crush you? Morgan Stanley has come up with five ways your business can avoid going under the wheels of that retail gargantuan. Then read this brilliant commentary piece for why you should just give up now, knowing it’s not actually written by Jeff Bezos, but frightening just the same.

7. Here are the 10 biggest raises by Australian startups so far this year. Here’s how more than half tech “unicorns” fudge their figures to land imaginary valuations. And here are 10 ways to improve cashflow without borrowing money from a high-interest fintech lender.

8. Snapchat is dead in the water. Shares of its parent company Snap fell to $US12.53 overnight and marketers are now saying Instagram Stories is a clear favourite amongst their clients. Still, BAML is waiting for Snap’s August 10 earnings call to see if it can hit this one key metric that could cause shares to reverse.

9. An Australian grandmother has found internet fame by asking Coles to tell her why her ice cream sandwich has been outside for 4 days without melting:

Mary Salter via News.au.comIf you look closely, you can see the ice cream sandwich now contains more foam than ice cream. Picture: Mary Salter via News.com.au

But she could have just Googled it.

10. Marriage, however, is bad for your health. Science has proved it. As are kitchen sponges, which sound like they’ll almost definitely kill you if you don’t buy new ones every week. Which also sounds like a Big Sponge conspiracy, but it isn’t. Unlike Big Cheese, which is run by an “Illuminati of cheese” working to persuade us all to eat more cheese.

Wake up, cheese-munching sheeple.

BONUS ITEM: Meanwhile, in Finland…

Have a great day.

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