1. Let’s start with markets, and wow – the ASX 200 is on a tear. It hit a 23-month high yesterday, and while it rose just 0.4% yesterday, that was still better than pretty much every major market in Asia, and June Futures point towards a positive opening today. Banks, energy and miners are still winning. US stocks struck back, but the Shanghai Composite Index is on a four-day losing streak.
10.30am whoops 9.30am, SpaceX will fuel up a rocket booster, hopefully fire it off, then recover it. But this time it’s different, because the booster they’re using has been used before. Nobody has done that before, and if it works, space travel will take a huge leap towards becoming a lot cheaper. Tens of millions of dollars cheaper, per launch. You can watch it live. And it all comes from the mind of the man who drew this on his Tesla in-car dash yesterday:
3. This seems important. In all the rush and worry about what will happen to the businesses and everyone’s money now Brexit is on, there hasn’t been a lot of talk about who takes control of all the EU laws the UK has been beholden to for the past couple of decades. But careful now, because it could all be handed back virtually overnight, and present Theresa May’s government with the opportunity to jump for the single biggest power grab by a British government in modern times.
4. In a building in Germany, the lights have just been switched on. 149 massive light, blasting with an intenisty 10,000 times more powerful than the Sun, and burning at 2980C. It’s a $4.8 million experiment called Synlight, and this is what it’s for.
5. Podcast! JP Morgan is one of the few banks that still thinks the RBA will be forced to cut rates this year — twice, in fact. To discuss this as well as this week’s ASX rally and other markets matters, we’re joined by Laura Fitzsimmons, vice president for macro sales at JP Morgan. Also on the agenda: our enthusiasm for PMI gauges and US political TV dramas. It’s on iTunes, or you can listen in here:
6. It’s hot in India right now. So hot, people even feel sorry for the world’s most frightening snake, this king cobra, that they gave it a drink from a water bottle:
That’s quite a snake-handler bond. But does it still beat Australia for deadly animals in extreme weather conditions? No:
All your Cyclone Debbie damage pics are here. And there will be more to come – a flood levee in northern NSW burst this morning, and parts of Lismore are under water as residents flee.
7. How good is the Galaxy S8? Just ask Shona Gosh:
“I found the phone frustrating from the moment I picked it up.”
It all goes downhill from there, from someone with normal hands. If you’re British, you’ll hate the voice assistant, Bixby, because it doesn’t understand your peculiar, garbled speech. But Corey Protin found one very good reason to like it. And this play by Microsoft – a customised version of the S8 – could actually turn out to be a brilliant move by both companies.
8. Job interviews are mostly one-way traffic. You turn up, they ask questions, you answer, they give the job to someone clearly less capable than you. Maybe you’re rubbish at answering questions. Maybe you should ask questions, too, starting with these eight brilliant ones that will make you look heaps smart.
9. Once more, for laffs:
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) March 29, 2017
The artist who created Cristiano Ronaldo’s bust is surely mortified after the most scathing, hilarious 24 hours of his career, right? Wrong. He reckons he now knows what Jesus felt like.
10. Facebook cut Palmer Luckey. Luckey virtually gave the world proper virtual reality, after Kickstarting the Oculus Rift, which Facebook bought two years ago. Unfortunately for Luckey, he threw some cash at an anti-Hillary Clinton meme group, and Facebook staff resigned in protest. Then he got sued for $US500 million and Facebook may have to wear it. Still, this seems… harsh.
BONUS ITEM: NSFW. But your boss will understand:
You’ll never believe what the sculptor who made the Ronaldo statue said. Wait for it… ?? pic.twitter.com/kyKSu8xpRh
— BarberBarberUK (@BarberBarberuk) March 30, 2017
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