10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Every market analyst, right now. Picture: Paramount Pictures

Good morning.

1. To markets, and you’re not even the shadow of a finance expert if you still haven’t yet written your “brace yourself” article after yet another day of non-volatile trading. US bond traders brushed aside any Fed fears and led the market higher, which should translate to a better day here after yesterday’s 46-point fall on the ASX. SPI futures are only indicating an 18 point rally at the open. The Australian dollar has regained its footing but iron ore is doing nothing. Nothing.

2. Gene Wilder was an extraordinary talent. At 83, he just joined the sadly lengthening list of amazing artists who have died in 2016. As Willy Wonka in the good version of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, he made an industry name for himself by freaking out his co-stars, adults and children, so much they claim there were scenes where acting wasn’t required. The story behind this moment is worth taking some time for:

He was also part of two iconic duos, starring with Richard Pryor for a string of edgy, hilarious comedies including Stir Crazy and The Silver Streak and with Mel Brooks on Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. But to this generation, he’ll best be known for his meme work. We’ll go with this one for our audience:

3. It’s already been a big week for Mark Zuckerberg. He met Pope Francis and gave him a miniature drone, then sat down for a live Q&A stream where he said he didn’t want Facebook to be thought of as a media company. That’s probably because he’s sick of taking calls about replacing his staff with bots and messing with Trending Topics too much. When really, all he wants to do is get his AI home assistant ready for it unveiling next month.

4. The European Commission started to look into Apple’s Irish tax rate in 2014, and will tomorrow push its case for potentially billions of dollars after concluding that Apple received “illegal state aid” from Ireland. But the folks at Cupertino have bigger fish to fry, like making the Internet of Things not such a huge joke. And busily sending out invites for the iPhone 7 launch on September 7. Here it is:

And here’s why those dots could mean a huge upgrade is coming.

5. Not dead yet is Donald Trump. As has been the pattern so far, the longer Trump goes without saying something stupid, the more voters start to drift back to him. He’s again gaining ground on Hillary Clinton in three of the Rust Belt’s most important states, according to the latest polls. But here’s something “unprecedented”, according to Patrick Murray, director of the independent Monmouth University Polling Institute. A huge amount of people want neither candidate to be US president.

6. This could be a big deal, or nothing at all. A year ago, Russian researchers detected an incredibly powerful energy burst from the star HD 164595, 94 light-years away in the constellation Hercules. They were “too shy” to say anything, but news got out and now astronomers the world over are wondering about the odds of Earth being picked out, in their lifetime, as the reception point for a 50 trillion watt ultra high-frequency beam that’s not too different from a digital TV signal.

7. Speaking of teasers, Ben Affleck tweeted this:

He was showing all the Batfans who the next Batvillain will be, but instead got everyone talking about the cameo appearance of the Titan cooler.

8. Taylor Swift casually showed up for jury duty, and people freaked out and tweeted all the pics. But then she was dismissed, because it was a sexual assault case, and Swift is already in the middle of a separate sexual assault case.

9. Remember Michael Phelps’ nightmare game face?

Michael PhelpsNBCPhelps made this now-famous face during the Rio Olympics.

He’s just revealed what he was listening to.

10. The 30th annual Burning Man kicked off over the weekend in the Black Rock Desert. Already, tents and RVs litter the landscape, “burners” roam between tents and art installations and, as Megan Willett reports, “first-timers roll naked in the dirt as a Burning Man baptism”. Here are the first unreal pictures.

BONUS ITEM: Stuff you won’t see in “children’s films” today:

Have a great day.

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