10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Nat Fyfe’s hair last night. Picture: Getty Images

Good morning. It’s a brave new world.

1. So, the big Mars announcement is in. And it’s exactly what everyone was hoping for – water, and with it, the possibility of life. At the very least, we have an exact pointer as to where to start looking for life. Those dark streaks that have been noted appearing and disappearing since 2010 are liquid salty enough to resist freezing during Mars’ warm season. There’s already talk of building a new rover capable of climbing the slopes and starting the search for life.

2. Back on Earth, it’s going to be a tough day if overnight action is any guide. Europe dropped 2.5% and the big three markets in the US had a day to forget, especially the Nasdaq, which was pulled down 3.04% by biotechs. So after a stellar rally yesterday, ASX traders are facing a 2% loss if the overnight trade in the December SPI 200 contract, which lost 103 points, is any guide. And a break lower may even be on the cards. Here’s the chart:

29092015-AUS200Daily Cash and Futures (Go MArkets, MT4)

3. Barclays has been making an annual trip to China since 2003, to help with its forecasts. It’s no surprise that this year, managing director Scott Davis expected forecasts for industrial growth to come down. His verdict? “This one definitely fits in the top-quartile of bearish field trips… it’s worse than we hoped.”

“We suspected that foreign direct investment would slow but, in fact, it has essentially stopped. Our average company is consolidating factories and working to pull capital out of the region.

There’s more bad news here.

4. Do you follow Okun’s Law, the Phillips Curve, the Taylor Rule or the Schiller PE? Morgan Stanley used to, but chief equity strategist Adam Parker reckons the world has changed and investors looking to old methods for valuing stocks are going to come up with bad answers. That’s because big companies simply don’t act like big companies used to. So here’s why everything you know is worthless, and what you can do about it.

5. This drug lord life. The sons of escaped kingpin “El Chapo” are making the most of their likely short life outside of prison. The social media accounts of Ivan and Alfredo Guzmán haven’t been verified, but they’re consistent enough with each other to assume they’re the real deal. And besides, who else has a coffee table like this?


There are a heap more pics here, including a baby jaguar and a very unique problem in the morning they face.

6. Another problem drug lords face – clumsy postal workers:

That’s about 12kg of marijuana a US couple found after it was obviously accidentally dropped from a plane onto their dog’s house. (The dog was out.)

7. Here’s an easy way to tell if you’re drinking beer from a dirty glass.

8. Sexist ads are still happening, although these days they err more on the side of the “idiot dad, hopeless boyfriend” side of the ledger. But back in the day, folks were lured into buying products with taglines like “Is it always illegal to kill a woman?” and “Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere”. If you think we’re kidding, here are 26 examples, including this:

9. Australia’s best footballers were honoured last night, and both shows were stolen by someone else.
The AFL’s Brownlow Medal was won by Fremantle’s Nat Fyfe, three votes ahead of last year’s winner Matt Priddis. But all the excitement was over the AFL’s website posting a pic before voting began of a framed and signed Hawthorn jumper with the heading “Grand Sam: 2015 Brownlow Medallist”:

Picture: AFL

Leading to this quick apology from AFL media manager Patrick Keane:

The NRL’s Dally M medal was won an incredible fourth time by NQ Cowboys’ star Jonathan Thurston, pushing him into instant Immortal territory. But everyone was still trying to get over PM Malcolm Turnbull’s incredibly awkward and obviously practiced run-down of how his Rabbitohs got “unluckily” booted out of the semi-finals. Reaction pic:

Of course, they all lost out to the frocks. We have pics of all the best ones here.

10. Here’s how to make it out of a free-falling elevator alive. You can thank us later.

Have a great day.

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