10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

‘And these, Mr Bezos, are the Oompa Loompas you ordered.’ Picture: Getty Images

It’s Friday. But first:

1. Millennials loaded up on Amazon ahead of earnings. Amazon smashed it. Millennials loaded up on Google ahead of earnings. Google whiffed. Millenials went bearish on Facebook before earnings. Facebook crushed earnings and is still climbing. One out of three, millennials.

2. To all the other stocks, and the fact they might have a bond problem – and investors may not yet realise how bad it’s gotten. Here’s the Dow Bond Oscillator chart you’ve been looking for since July last year. And here’s your cut-out-and-keep list of all the Wall Street analysts who are concerned about high asset valuations. US markets flailed about last night without going anywhere, but commodities are looking sharp. This is Goldman Sachs’ top trade right now.

3. Saying “it’s PC gone mad” is almost the quickest way to undermine your point, just behind “I’m not a racist but…”. But when you’re the five-time F1 grid girl who’s just been told to leave motor sports, and who loves her job, you’ve probably got a right to be a bit miffed that nobody seems to care about your opinion and lost income because “feminists think they know best”. And here’s some bad news for all those creepy art “critics” heading down to the gallery today for their daily dose of Victorian nudes.

4. This is the situation right now in Cape Town, still two months out from the day four million residents could have their taps turned off:

Picture: Morgana Wingard/Getty Images.

They’re lining up at the local brewer to get water from their off-grid springs. It’s why one local official is warning “Day Zero” is the greatest challenge any major city “has had to face anywhere in the world since the Second World War or 9/11”.

5. Now China has a rail gun:

Ho ho ho.

6. Bitcoin crumbled to below $US9000. Here’s the analysis from a proper expert:

It has shed more than $US72 billion this year. And Ripple dropped below $US1 for the second time in 2018. It might be too late, but if you’re still trying to get in on the BTC game, here’s the beginner’s guide to understanding the cryptocurrency, illustrated like a children’s book.

7. Bill and Melinda Gates’ fight against malaria was going well, with deaths from the disease dropping from 839,000 in 2000 to 438,000 in 2015. But it’s hit a wall since then, and deaths have actually risen a little. We know, because Sue Desmond-Hellmann, the $US40 billion foundation’s CEO, spoke to us at the World Economic Forum in Davos, and said Australia is now on the front line in the fight. Here’s why.

8. Let’s talk about execs. In no particular order:

9. Earlier this week, we reported on the Worst Patent by Ford of an autonomous police car that could chase down offenders. But then, while someone held its beer, Amazon rolled out an application for a bracelet that tracks workers’ movements and buzzes them if they move in the wrong direction. Meanwhile, talk about an actual release of Samsung’s fabled, foldable Galaxy X is heating up.

10. Even on Fridays, there are times when you’d just love to walk out onto the tarmac and board your personal jet and just go anywhere for a few days. Rich People do, all the time – some of them on these seven most luxurious private jets in the world. With bigger bathrooms than your house:

Kestrel Aviation Management

The marble floors are heated. We have more pics.

Enjoy your weekend.

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