10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

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The awkwardness. It burns. Picture: Channel Nine

Here we go.

1. Today, it’s almost certain that we’re going see either a) a rate cut or b) easing bias from the RBA at 2.30pm. Either way, there will be some kind of reaction. 20 of 25 economists polled by Bloomberg expect that the cash rate will be reduced to 1.50%. Here’s the trajectory including those good old heady 14% days:

And here’s your 10-second guide to prepare for it. Then come back at 2.30pm for the full coverage and fallout.

2. So yes, a big day on the local. But first, the US, where it’s possible we’re starting to see signs the steam is finally starting to run out of this most recent rally. Goldman Sachs thinks so – it’s saying sell. Crude is collapsing once again, and with some mildly down action overnight on the Dow and S&P, the September SPI 200 contract is down 21 points this morning.

3. There’s only one way to watch this amazing moment from the Channel Nine news desk last night – over and over:

That was news presenter Tony Jones trying to give Rebecca Judd a farewell kiss after she gave her final weather bulletin before maternity leave. It’s like that moment where you can actually see Ralph Wiggum’s heart break.

4. And 16 years ago, The Simpsons’ March episode predicted a future 2030 in which Lisa is made the USA’s first straight female president. The scary bit? She inherited it from “President Trump”. Just how scary is explored in a new clip in which Homer and Marge watch a fake political ad that shows a stark difference between the two current presidential candidates when it comes to the proverbial 3am call from the Situation Room. The Hitler speeches, the tweeting, the prosthetic hands – this is the best Trump smackdown of the campaign so far.

5. Even the biggest tech unicorn of them all couldn’t crack China. Nine months after launch, Uber enjoyed 479 times more trips in Chengdu than it saw in New York after the same length of time. But here’s the problem every startup needs to deal with – profit has to replace metrics sooner or later. And after throwing a billion a year trying to crack the Chinese market, Uber yesterday folded its Chinese unit into rival Didi in exchange for 5.89% of the new company. Didi will in return invest $1 billion in Uber, at a $68 billion valuation.

6. On cue, here is our annual round-up of the world’s top 27 fintech unicorns, ranked by value.

7. Meanwhile, real companies continue to make real money. Like Amazon, which this morning passed Exxon to become the fourth-most valuable company in the US, behind Apple, Alphabet and Microsoft. As of this writing, Amazon is worth about $US362 billion. Here’s why.

8. Goldman Sachs says Australia will only win 7 gold medals at the Rio Olympics. That’s just one more gold than New Zealand, but GS is banking on our proclivity to choke to see us net 21 best-of-the-rest medals and push us four places above the Kiwis overall into 11th. Here’s how GS thinks it will pan out:

Image: Goldman Sachs

That’s disappointing, considering we’re one of the most successful nations ever, right? Wrong. Here’s another table from Goldman Sachs which devastatingly lays out why only Greece is worse at the Olympics than Australia.

9. When Kevin met Frank. Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom recently met the Pope for the second time in order to launch the @franciscus Instagram – and it was great.

“When I saw the pope the second time, he was like, ‘Keviiinnn!’, as if we had gone to college together, like we played at the same golf club or something”

10. People lie to you, every day, so don’t wait for humans to suddenly come over all like they’re really interested in your wellbeing. Instead, learn how to spot a fib, and deal with it. Here are 10 ways, just for starters.

BONUS ITEM: Ah. That relief you feel when you’ve just let a couple million tonnes of red-hot lava go:

Have a great day.

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