10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

18 and life, you got it. Picture: Getty Images

Good morning. Let’s see what happens this week.

1. First, to markets and US GDP whiffed a little, growing at an annual rate of 1.9%, against expectations of 2.2%. The greenback weakened some, but stocks stayed near record highs. Australian stocks are set to open down a little as March SPI 200 Futures dropped 11 points overnight. It also looks like a slow start to the week for Australian dollar traders but iron ore prices are… buoyant.

2. The tennis. Roger Federer is glad he didn’t listen to all the journalists saying he should have retired four years ago because he could only make it to every grand slam event semi-final. He just won the Australian Open with a bunch of aces and otherworldy backhand winners, and both exchanged a year’s worth of points like this:

Federer now hold 18 titles to Nadal’s 14, although in this form, Nadal’s a near-certainty to peg him back one in the French Open.

3. It was a wild week in US politics. Perhaps the wildest first week a US president has ever presided over. It culminated in an executive order to restrict immigration from seven Muslim-majority nations and an unprecedented change to the US National Security Council. When asked in his first TV interview if he was worried it would anger Muslims, Trump replied:

“The world is a mess. The world is as angry as it gets.”

Oh, and if you’re planning to visit the US soon, be prepared to hand over your social media and phone contacts. It’s currently in “preliminary discussion” phase at the White House.

4. And in a 25-minute phone call with Malcolm Turnbull, the US President personally assured our Prime Minister that he would support Australia and let refugees seeking asylum in Australia be resettled in the US. If they still want to.

5. Corn can make you eat your babies. Scientists were trying to figure out why the European hamster is dying out and they found that the regions where its numbers were dropping were being taken over by corn farming. They found birth rates hadn’t changed, but while 80% of hamsters babies whose mums ate wheat and worms survived, a horrific 95% of babies whose mums ate the corn were in turn eaten by their crazy mums.

6. If you need some cheering up, here’s the moment Associated Press photographer Mark J. Terrill captured former NHL player Chris Pronger smashing Justin Bieber against the boards in a recent celebrity game:

7. Deutsche Bank reckons the British pound is becoming “increasingly irrelevant” as Brexit draws nearer. Meanwhile, bitcoin is looking like a great hedge against the system and could be the new gold.

8. Here’s how you should invest your money for retirement, according to the founder of a $US3.9 trillion fund giant. So when you do retire, you can travel the world in this $US174 million superyacht complete with its own helipad and speedboat garage.

9. Apple’s earnings will be out tomorrow morning AEDT. It’s going for four straight overall year-on-year declines – but there’s a hidden multi-billion dollar business that could be the star tomorrow.

10. Here’s a quick update on Putin’s most menacing military machines, including the recently added “Satan 2” missile, a single one of which could wipe out NSW.

Have a great day.

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