10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Now, that’s no way to treat the next US president. Picture: Getty Images

Friday! Let’s get it done with.

1. To markets, where the local yesterday couldn’t break through the 5400 mark, despite being given every chance. And it won’t today, because everyone’s holding their breath waiting for what US Fed chair Janet Yellen has to say tonight. Small losses on the Dow and S&P led SPI 200 June futures up just 5 points. Oil is down again, as is gold, and iron ore hit a three-month low. Best to just grab a nap and wait for Friday knock-offs.

2. If you’re stuck at the bar with the intern waiting for all the interesting people to arrive, here’s seven ways to appear interested in what they’re saying. And while you’re there, try this strategy we got a former FBI hostage negotiator to share with us that could help you avoid all the shouts.

3. Google won its massive legal case against Oralco, which claimed Google had copied crucial code from it in order to build Android. Here’s why that’s important. And here’s why it isn’t – because Android sucks.

4. Kids these days. One of them, TJ Khayatan, was visiting the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art with his friends when he thought it would be a great idea to place his glasses on the floor and see what happened:

He was right – it was a great idea. But while we all breathlessly reported on people obsessed with a pair of glasses, it was only mildly less pathetic than the stream of media pleading to get permission to run pics of people looking at a pair of glasses:

5. Milk wars. You might be proud of your week of buying expensive milk to support our dairy farmers, and you should be. Keep doing it. But if you really want to understand the big problem behind what’s motivating your activism, try to ignore Barnably Joyce claiming he can force supermarkets to pay more to farmers and please, please read Simon Thomsen’s excellent primer on why it won’t save the dairy industry.

6. Teens reckon they spend between two and five hours a day looking at their screens. That’s alarming, because they’re wrong. In the US, a study has found it’s actually about nine hours. So they don’t even realise they’re doing it half the time, and that’s why we’re suddenly surrounded by an entire generation that’s unable to focus, concentrate, build a large vocabulary and demand constant attention and stimuli.

7. While we’re on that, here’s why we should all be playing more video games.

8. Snapchat just listed Stan Meresman as its board member for the first time. Meresman is a financial expert who “advises CEOs & CFOs on preparing to become a public reporting company, IPO process, operating as a public company, and scaling the company for rapid growth”. He’s guided four companies through their successful IPOs: LinkedIn, Zynga, Riverbed Technology and Polycom, and he served as the CFO at chipmaker Cypress Semiconductor during its IPO. So we’ll assume you don’t need us to draw you a picture.

OK then, just one. Here’s why investors are throwing money at Snapchat:

9. Retired US presidents are kind of interesting. We’re hearing a lot about then, possibly because everyone’s in denial that Donald Trump might be able to turn his Republican nomination into the real thing. Here’s Greg Norman chatting to us about the time Bill Clinton hurt his knee at 2am in Norman’s home, and the wonderful thing Clinton did just three hours later. And here’s the $US5.3 million mansion the Obamas will reportedly live in after they vacate the White House.

10. Wills and Kate recently celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary, and apparently loads of people sent them well wishes. What they didn’t expect was this actually really nice thank you note in return:

Have a great weekend.

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