10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Get busy livin’. Or get busy dyin’. Picture: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Good morning.

1. Markets in the US took a bit of a tumble overnight, thanks largely to Apple’s share price falling. More about that later. But it sets up an interesting day on the ASX, which looks a little flat with the SPI down 8 points. But iron ore went berserk again last night and gold joined the party, so who knows? The Aussie is up and making life interesting for the RBA ahead of Tuesday’s rates call. Doing nothing is, according to currency strategist Jason Wong, akin to tightening, which could send the dollar to 80 cents and put a handbrake on growth.

2. If you like that kind of talk, today is a great day to check out our other “things” column. Greg McKenna fires off a daily missive just for traders, but it’s always got something for everyone, and today’s no exception. Come for the brilliant Keynesian analysis of the problem with “average opinion”, stay for the Mckennansian rant about what to tell boofheads carrying on about Australia carrying too much debt. You won’t be disappointed.

3. Carl Icahn got out. Apple got its biggest individual investor in 2013 when Icahn lumped a couple of billion into it and made sure everyone knew about how much money he was going to make. The way Icahn saw it, Wall Street analysts and media failed to value the company properly on several fronts, and it was “headed for $US240” a share. It got to $US132 in May and has dropped steadily since to $94. And now Icahn “no longer has a position in Apple” and he blames it on China. And investors not as smart as he is.

4. At the end of “Thelma & Louise”, Thelma and Louise drive their Thunderbird off a cliff and die. Look:


Sorry if you hadn’t seen it. But maybe Ridley Scott will consider a director’s cut which features this alternative ending he once considered.

5. Let’s talk about Qantas premium economy. Or at least, let’s talk about you laughing at how gullible twits pay twice as much for an extra 6 inches and a hot towel. Because our tech editor Harry Tucker just flew premium economoy to San Francisco. And he loved it, and he’ll never fly economy again.

6. Everyone loves Netflix. Even Australia’s Productivity Commission, which just made a fairly significant call about whether Australians should be allowed to view content not available here. They should, it said, and called for the Copyright Act – 1968! – to be amended:

“The Australian Government should seek to avoid any international agreements that would prevent or ban consumers from circumventing geoblocking technology.”

7. Starting today, the internet is going to get so much faster. It’s complicated, and has everything to do with a secret company that runs 10% of all web traffic called CloudFlare. Today, it presses the button on something called “HTTP/2 Server Push” and webpages and apps will load 15% faster. But here’s why you probably won’t notice it.

8. This is, apparently, the “greatest throw in the history of throws”:

It’s from quarterback Jared Goff, who’s expected to be snapped up first in the NFL Draft later today. And as for that throw, it was former NFL head coach Jon Gruden making the huge, perplexing call. If you want to know why, prepare to realise you know nothing about American football. Nothing.

9. Ship map porn. You know how we said a couple of days ago how much we love maps? Here’s another – all the shipping routes in the world, all at once. Phwoar.

10. The next US president says he will “not rule out” using nukes against ISIS. But before you roll your eyes at the insensitive morons on the right, here are the times Lefties are a big old bunch of anti-Semites, even when they think they’re not.

You’re all horrible. Look:

BONUS ITEM: Three monks fight, then get expelled, mainly for being terrible at fighting:

Deal with it, then have a great weekend.

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