10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Vikings – easily bored. Picture: MGM/History

Good morning.

1. The US election is boring. Donald Trump hasn’t said anything stupid or inflammatory for days. And the tension is showing, because Newt Gingrich got so fed up with questions about Trump’s “lewd behaviour” that he looked ready to fight Fox News host Megyn Kelly. And Trump would “love” to fight Joe Biden over the same thing, out behind the shed. The Clinton campaign is happy with all that, because as it said in the latest WikiLeaks dump, “there is no good answer” when it comes to questions about Hillary’s private emails. Michael Moore still reckons Trump will win, and says it will “be the biggest ‘f..k you’ ever recorded in human history”.

2. And overnight, Trump’s place in Hollywood history was obliterated:

That’s a man named James Otis, who went to the trouble of dressing up and making all his vandalism look legit. Here he is telling TMZ why he did it and how he’s not scared of the cops.

3. Markets are pretty dull right now too. Stocks barely moved in the US, although one positive sign is starting to flicker – garbage levels are up. Oil fell again – there’s a great explainer here for what’s going on from Wall Street’s top oil watcher – but iron ore is now at a 6-month high. SPI traders have the December contract up 8 points, and the Aussie dollar just won’t quit on 77 cents. Bank earnings start today and first off the rank is NAB, which just announced a full year cash profit of $6.48 billion.

4. Remember the robot from WA that can build a house four times quicker than a brickie? Across The Ditch, a Kiwi has a team of robot butchers which can carve 600 lambs and pigs up into tasty chunks in an hour. They only need one human overlord watching on.

5. Microsoft owned the night. Just days before Apple releases its new Macbook, Microsoft held an event and showed off a new Surface Book and its first PC, the Surface Studio. It’s lovely:

But wait, there’s more. A new game streaming service called Beam will hit the Xbox One console and Windows 10 in an update next year. And then there’s this nifty tool which can turn the camera on your phone – any phone – into a 3D processor:

6. After Tim Cook’s snafu about how Apple is now an “agile” company, Microsoft’s latest big moves now have people saying it is now the “more innovative” of the two.

7. Productivity makes the world go round. If you’re not doing your part, it’s probably because you’re stuck on your phone all day, so here’s what you should be doing instead of reaching for it every other minute. And we got another 7 productivity tips from a time-management expert, including that one about giving up trying to empty your inbox.

8. This is the worst thing you can say in a salary negotiation. Don’t. And this is how to tell a noisy coworker to not say anything.

9. Today’s internet illusion of the day are these shiny legs:

But if you actually think they’re shiny legs, you’re wrong. Although we like this one about whether this crying man is Bill Murray or Tom Hanks better.

10. One of the world’s biggest archaeological mysteries is melting away before our eyes. What happened to the Vikings which disappeared from Greenland in 1400 after living there for 400 years? The strongest theory is they got bored of eating seals and left, but we might never know, because the ice that’s preserved all we know about them has melted. And in case you didn’t know, this is what happens to a body after it dies and doesn’t have ice to preserve it.

Have a great day. It’s Friday tomorrow.

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