10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

It’s time to clean out the fridge. Picture: Paramount Pictures

Good morning.

1. Markets today are looking weak as earnings continue to disappoint. (We’re looking at you, Apple.) SPI traders are betting on falls with the December contract losing 12 points overnight, but iron ore and coking coal are still running strong, so it could all balance out. The Aussie dollar is rallying ahead of today’s crucial inflation report. David Scutt has the 10-second preview to that you need.

2. Apple just reported its first revenue drop since 2001. Earnings per share – down 14.79%, revenue – down 8.93%, iPhone sales – down 5.3%, iPad sales – down 6.8% and Mac units – down 15.7%. That hurts. But not as much as this article comparing Tim Cook to Steve Ballmer.

3. Dreamworld is closed today as a mark of respect for the families of four people who lost their lives on the Thunder River Rapids ride yesterday. Police are investigating CCTV footage to understand how the raft carrying brother and sister Kate Goodchild and Luke Dorsett, Luke’s partner Roozi Araghi and an unnamed 42-year-old woman, flipped.

4. Across Russia, 40 million civilians and military personnel just finished up emergency drills. Video shows Russian civilians practicing along with officials and workers in Hazmat suits. They’re practising how to survive a nuclear war. And because there’s no business like war business, here’s the Pentagon’s top weapons supplier selling helicopters like the world’s ending.

5. We’ve started a brand new podcast called Business Insider Foundations. It’s all about entrepreneurship, business fundamentals, and consumer and technology trends, and it’s great because it’s got our editor-in-chief Paul Colgan and markets guru Greg McKenna in it. Find the show on iTunes or listen in below:

6. Have at thee, bike thief!

This is brilliant – a bike lock that triggers gas that makes would-be thieves vomit. It’s called SkunkLock, it debuted on Indiegogo on October 21, and will cost you $US109, which is worth it for entertainment value alone.

7. Are you stupid? Congratulations – you’ve got the makings of a successful entrepreneur. US Shark Tank judge Barbara Corcoran says it’s the one thing in common shared by the startups which have made her money:

“You almost have to be too stupid to lay low when you’re smashed. If you want to be an entrepreneur, you have to have a low enough IQ so that you bounce back up and say, ‘Hit me again.'”

Here’s a good example of why Corcoran avoids “book smart” people.

8. A third of European Samsung Note 7 owners still haven’t returned their yet-to-explode smartphones. To save people from themselves, Samsung is rolling out an update that will cap the phone’s battery charge at 60%. But wait, news just in – a possible third Galaxy S7 Edge may have exploded. Tech companies getting it right today include:

9. The UK could be stuck in post-Brexit limbo for years. A YouGov survey published last month revealed that Brits who voted Leave believed striking a post-Brexit trade deal with Australia should be a number one priority. But Australia’s trade minister Steven Ciobo just threw a big spanner at all their hopes and dreams. He’s just told his British counterpart, Liam Fox, he’d received advice that entering formal talks with Britain before Brexit is complete would be illegal. A UK-Australia deal could be up to the best part of a decade away.

10. The first rule of loaning money to a family member is don’t. If you don’t believe that, here are the other five.

BONUS ITEM: Spokey-dokes levelled up:

Have a great day.

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