10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

This is the droid you’re looking for. Picture: Disney/Lucasfilm

Good morning. Let’s get cracking.

1. And it’s a terrible Friday for Woolworth’s chairman Ralph Waters. He’s stepping down after the supermarket giant posted an awful slump in profit, down 12.5% to $2.146 billion. Gordon Cairns, a former CEO at Lion Nathan and chairman of David Jones, will become chairman from Tuesday next week. Here’s the ugly figures.

2. The markets, where a late rally in Chinese stocks yesterday snapped a five-day losing streak. Europe responded with all the major indices more than 3% higher, which in turn fed a solid lead into US markets which rallied from the open. So all’s well – for now. And with a ridiculous rally in crude overnight, the ASX is likely to push on up as well, following yesterday’s solid performance and the parabolic lift in iron ore futures. Overnight the SPI 200 ASX futures contract for September put on another 97 points to sit at 5,283.

3. But don’t get excited, bulls. Albert Edwards of Societe Generale thinks all these snapbacks are headshakes and there’s a 99.7% probability that we’re in a bear market. And if you’re thinking “Well, he is a perma-bear, that Edwards bloke”, then hoo-boy, have we got an S&P Death Cross for you:

4. Your kids and their money. Financial planner Gregg Murset says you need to start teaching your kids how to make, and save, money from the age of five. He’s even set up a free online tool to teach them how it all works, but if you’re not convinced, here’s six basics you can pass on to your budding mini-millionaires.

5. They might even catch the startup spirit and be featured in BI’s “24 hottest under-the-radar startups of 2035”. But for now, check out this year’s line-up, and remember you read about that USB stick which can turn your 1997 Camry into a smartcar here first.

6. 1 billion people logged on to Facebook on Monday. Think about that. (You can bet the top people at Google are, and maybe starting to sweat a little.)

7. “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has been released early, in the form of the most teasers and trailers in the history of cinema. Surely. The latest is a 10-second grab which features four scenes. Three are important, including one which sparks this lengthy discussion about the role of Luke’s lightsaber. And the other is, well, this:

Which tells us absolutely nothing, but does stick to the “Hey, you’re really gonna love this cute droid” line that Disney’s marketing department may or may not have written into JJ Abrams’ contract.

8. This leak, however, tells us pretty much everything we need to know about who’s fighting with Iron Man and who’s on Captain America’s side when the Avengers go toe-to-toe in “Civil War” next year. And it’s not an easy decision, but our advice is to stick with Black Panther.

9. After six months and nearly 15,000 diners, Heston Blumenthal’s The Fat Duck came to an end in Melbourne last week. Simon Thomsen got lucky and sat in on the $525 16-course meal, but it wasn’t his first time at Blumenthal’s table and he was worried the Melbourne experience might just be the London show, with the same jokes. He was wrong, and here’s his look back at five hours of brilliant culinary comedy theatre which showed why Blumenthal earns every bit of those “Willy Wonka in Alice’s Wonderland” comparisons.

10. Blindness could soon be consigned to history. An ambitious group of scientists have made it their life goal, and progress is coming on probably a lot faster than you might think. Think “bionic”, and you’re almost there.

BONUS ITEM: This Asian Champions League goalie who played it just a little too casual:

Have a great weekend. I’m on Twitter here.

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