10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

No, you ask him where he thinks he is going. Picture: 20th Century Fox

Hello Monday:

1. School holidays are under way up and down the east coast of Australia, and everyone’s trying to get in or out of Sydney Airport. Except they can’t right now, because there’s been a “system failure”, reportedly affecting air traffic control. It’s back under control now though, and queues are starting to move.

2. The Yes vote mob are botching it. What should have been a lay-down result is heading into the uncertainty zone after a Newspoll found support is falling. The unknown quantity is how many Aussies are just waiting for an excuse to tick No, no matter how flimsy, and headbutting the former PM is a great way to lock that in. Also, whoever decided it was a good idea to spam all the mobile numbers in Australia with a pro-Yes message should be having a good, hard look at themselves today.

3. Markets and this week it’s elections, not nukes which are getting things moving. The kiwi and euro are both down after NZ and German elections returned – maybe – the incumbents with reduced majorities. And the pound dropped after Colin Firth became an Italian citizen Theresa May’s highly-anticipated keynote speech on Brexit negotiations. The AUD is still holding its ground, even as iron ore enters a bear market.

4. In the US, if you tell NFL players who protest that they should be fired, like President Trump did, you just end up with this kind of thing, at every NFL game:

Picture: Getty Images

Here’s how the whole movement started, out of one man’s actions during a meaningless preseason game that no one noticed at the time.

5. Data fans don’t have a lot to smile about in the last week of the month. New Zealand failed to pick a clear winner in its general election, so expect the kiwi to take a hit this morning. NZ rates are expected to stay on hold at 1.75% after Thursday’s central bank meeting. The biggest event in Australia this week is a speech from RBA deputy governor Guy Debelle at a conference in London on Thursday, but there will be some interest in ECB president Mario Draghi’s speech tonight. Here’s the data diary you’re looking for.

6. This is absolutely the last conversation we have about how expensive the iPhone X is, because it’s your money and you get to spend it on whatever you like. Some people like coffee – and even if they only have one day, their habit is more expensive than an iPhone X.

7. Does your olive oil not smell like olives? Or your fish smell too fishy? It’s probably time to start chucking some food out. Yes, expiration dates can be ignored to some extent, but here’s how to tell for sure if these 11 regular food items have gone bad.

8. Scientists have discovered a potent problem for anyone who’s ready to start a new life on Mars. Your new life might be a short one, filled with battling cancer, cataracts, poor circulation and nerve disorders. Still:

9. Makeup is basically Photoshop IRL. But don’t be afraid to use either, because humans are shallow and first impressions are important. Here’s how to use those two tricks and five others to instantly appear competent, and here are eight science-backed ways to be more attractive. You can’t lose.

10. Lots of people say they’ll move to another country if (insert right-wing politician) gets in at the election, but no one ever does. Except Colin Firth, the quintessential British actor who has applied for Italian citizenship after his quintessential country quit the EU last year.

BONUS ITEM: Now is not the time to celebrate:

Have a great day.

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