10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Best to just take the Pope’s position on everything. Picture: Getty Images

Good morning.

1. US president Donald Trump unveiled his tax plan. It includes “the biggest tax cut” in US history, slashing corporate tax from 35% to 15%, eliminating the estate tax, and doubling the standard deduction to the first $US12,700 in income. Business taxes in the US would be among the lowest in the developed world. At least this time, members of his own party are happy with the proposal, but there’s at least one important detail missing when it comes to the new simplified tax brackets.

2. Markets were… indifferent. Probably because Trump said he wasn’t putting a time frame on when all that tax stuff would actually happen. But the Aussie dollar got smoked overnight, as did the Kiwi. And June Futures have the ASX opening flat. In data today, the ABS releases international terms of trade at 11:30am AEST.

3. Twitter beat expectations. It added 9 million monthly active users, and earnings per share and revenue were higher than expected. But that’s also a reflection on how low Wall Street’s expectations are. All of those figures still combined to serve up Twitter’s first ever year-over-year decline in revenue for its first quarter earnings.

4. A submarine that carries US Navy SEALs just arrived off the coast of North Korea. That doesn’t mean SEALs are on board, but just saying. Last night, Japan’s government issued a guide for its citizens on how to survive a missile attack that would take less than 10 minutes to hit. And the US tested an unarmed intercontinental ballistic missile, sending it from Califonia to Hawaii in “a matter of minutes”.

5. World’s best treehouse. California’s giant sequoias can grow up to 90 metres tall and 30 metres wide. That, according to one group of South Korean architects, makes them perfect for hollowing out so we can build skyscrapers inside them:

The idea even won an honorable mention in eVolo’s the 2017 design competition.

6. Want to make loads of money in a low-volatility market? Start by getting accepted into Harvard Business School using these tips from someone who did. But if that doesn’t work, derivatives strategists at Goldman Sachs have this advice for how to make a killing this earnings season. And don’t believe the old adage “Sell in May and go away” – because it’s broken.

7. Or start by being rich. Here’s a great example of how a billionaire like Bill Ackman gets richer while all those around and following him get poorer. You may grind your teeth a little.

8. Life is so difficult now that Amazon has seen a need to release a new Echo device that is a hands-free camera to help you decide what to wear. Here’s what you should know before choosing to put an internet connected camera in your bedroom that watches you get dressed.

9. The humans strike back. Well, one boozed up Silicon Valley engineer. Who knocked over a 135kg robocop which was patrolling the headquarters of startup Knightscope. K-5 was back on duty the next day, because resistance is useless:

10. “El Chapo” Guzman isn’t enjoying his time in jail. He can’t see the TV in the fitness room when he’s on the exercise bike, the music next door is too loud and the prison tap water hurts his throat. Worst of all, they keep replaying that nature program about a rhinoceros. Amnesty International has been called.

BONUS ITEM: No one cares that Jeff Goldblum is returning to Jurassic Park. Everyone cares that Jeff Goldblum sells snags in Sydney from a food truck:

Scoring a sanga from #brundlefly #chefgoldblum I'm, I'm simply saying that¬†life, uh…¬†finds a way

A post shared by Phillips Huynh (@ph22ps) on

Let’s hope Brundlefly washed its hands.

Have a great day.

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