10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

We’ve seen that look somewhere before. Picture: Getty Images

Carnage.

1. That’s all you’ll get from us this morning, but there’s nothing else to report as the biggest sell-off in four years continued overnight. All the major US indexes fell more than 3%, European stocks were crushed and commodities made new lows. Here’s all the breakdowns:

2. Now, the local situation. The Aussie dollar crashed to 70 cents overnight, which is pretty much what you’d expect. (Knocking the NAB’s fair value model from 80 cents last week to just 68 cents this morning, not so much.) Iron ore got thumped, which makes sense. And the ASX looks set to open down another 189 points, which is probably more pessimistic than you’d expect.

3. Certainly more than our David Scutt, who’s made the big call that Chinese stocks will bounce today. But he’s got history on his side.

4. And just so you know, here’s why everyone’s calling it “Black Monday”, when it isn’t.

5. Now for the big news. Jon Stewart has switched from Daily Show host to betraying WWE United States Champion John Cena, smacking him with one of those ringside chairs the WWE really should have started nailing down 20 years ago. Why, Jon? WHY?

6. Former NRL star Jarryd Hayne is killing it in the NFL. Look:

Of course, it’s pre-season. But he already has a nickname, the “Say Hayne Kid” (although we prefer Hanye) and one San Francisco sports marketer has put a $12 million pricetag on him. He’s currently on $100,000 and all but sealed a spot in the Niners’ 53-man regular season squad.

7. OK, one more thing on the market rout. There’s a longer-term view on valuing companies based on their business, not the price of their stock, which is worth keeping in mind as all the chaos unfolds. It has helped Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway beat the S&P 500 44 out of 45 years on a five-year rolling basis, he told everyone 31 years ago to stick to it. He also predicted no one would listen to him. He was right.

Surface PhoneFacebook.com/PhoneDesignerThe Surface Phone.

8. Windows Phone is not dead. It’s just been switched over to Surface Phone. Maybe. Rumours are swirling around a new flagship phone from Redmond carrying the increasingly impressive Surface branding. It even has a code name – “Juggernaut Alpha”. Here’s what everyone thinks they know about it so far, but if it’s real, it will have to be pretty robust to run Windows 10.

9. It looks like Apple’s up to something, too. Again, maybe. The new iPhone is expected to be unveiled on or about September 9th. The annual event is usually held at the San Francisco‚Äôs 755-seat Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. But someone’s booked the 7000-seat Bill Graham Civic Auditorium for five days either side of September 9 -and has been granted a permit to remove four windows and replace them with giant logos.

10. It’s 100 days to summer, or something close to it. Which means it’s time to start brushing up on your steak game, so here’s the chef of Wall Street’s oldest steakhouse to tell you 9 ways you’re cooking your scotch fillet all wrong.

BONUS ITEM: Octopuses are smart. And now they’re weaponised.

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