10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Crude oil azerbaijan bathReuters/Stoyan NenovAhh, crude. Picture: Reuters

Good morning. Let’s get through Wednesday, stat.

1. Straight to the local markets, then, where it was another good day’s trade yesterday with the index up 0.35% on top of Monday’s 0.35%. But investment bank Credit Suisse still downgraded its outlook for the ASX 200, and dropped its year-end target by a massive 500 points, from 6500 to 6000. Chris Pash has the details. Overnight futures traders have taken the September SPI 200 contract down 27 points to 5616, suggesting some weakness today. In Asia, Beijing authorities will be doing cartwheels after a 0.66% rise in stocks pushed the Shanghai composite back above 4,000.

2. US dollar weakness saw the euro rally close 1 cent back above 1.09. This helped the Aussie and the Kiwi continue their recovery off recent lows but sterling is becalmed, waiting on the BoE later this week. Forex and interest rate traders in Australia will be busy with the release of the second-quarter CPI at 11.30am AEST while RBA governor Glenn Stevens is giving his annual Anika Foundation speech at 1.05pm AEST.

3. APRA has told Australia’s four major banks and Macquarie to find billions of new capital. Here’s why ANZ’s chief financial officer Shayne Elliott isn’t so worried about that. But if you’re mortgaged up to your neck, (i.e. a person), you probably should be worried about one analyst’s claim it could push rates up by 0.65%.

4. It’s earnings all over. Apple, Microsoft and Yahoo have all released their results for the quarter. Here’s the wrap.

5. “She-Sheds” are real and they’re kicking man-caves to the curb. Yes, ladies are taking back the backyard with their own space set aside for craft, reading and cups of herbal tea. One sales manager of a NSW shed-seller said demand is booming, with 70% of their cabanas were sold primarily for women. Here’s what they look like:

And if you want more, Sarah Kimmorley had no trouble picking a bunch of the best on Instagram.

6. About your pay raise. You’ve worked hard and stayed loyal for years. You’ve added value. So why are you still on a crappy wage? Maybe because your breath stinks and eight of these other appearance mistakes, which, superficial or not, are holding you back at work.

7. And after you’ve learned how to iron your shirt, brush up on these seven tips for negotiating, which master negotiator Matt Lohmeyer shared with us today. They’re simpler than you might think, but sadly easy to forget.

8. Ships are traditionally launched with a bottle of bubbly, and a big a..e-end slide out of the dock, right? Well, sometimes. But this is the modern way we’ve been using since ships got too big for such things, and it’s pretty spectacular:

Just thought you’d like to see that.

9. The McDonald’s “Land, Sea and Air Burger” exists, claims one former employee who just dished the dirt on working at the famous franchise. You might have read about the “Secret Menu” for years, but never been game enough to ask for a McGangBang Burger. So BI’s Will Wei did, and here are the results.

10. Forget mani-pedis and seaweed wraps. In Azerbaijan, you can go for a 10 minute bath in warm crude oil. We have pics of someone doing just that and it looks appalling, although one specialist claims it can cure “more than 70 diseases”. Which is great news for these 10 countries, which are swimming in massive oceans of the stuff. At the very least, it beats detoxing, which is a complete load of bunkum.

BONUS ITEM: You’d scream and swear too, if this happened to you.

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