10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Peter Siddle, thank you. Picture: Getty Images

Good morning.

1. Here’s what the horrible start to the week for local traders looks like, beginning with the fact the Dow, S&P and Nasdaq finished 5.82%, 5.79% and 6.77% down respectively on Friday. The September SPI 200 futures were down an incredible 110 points to close Saturday morning at 5,057. And we haven’t even mentioned China yet, so just how fragile is the global economy right now? Soc Gen’s global head of economics Michala Marcussen has this to say about it, in two sentences.

2. The Australian market has so far this month lost 8.5% in value, the biggest monthly fall since 2008, otherwise known as “the GFC”. And there’s still six trading days to go, with all indications showing today won’t improve on the downward trend. Chris Pash has the scorecard for results you didn’t want to see here.

3. Maybe data can save us. It’s a light week in China, which might actually be a good thing, but the US gets new home sales, Richmond Fed manufacturing, consumer confidence and the super-important durable goods orders. We get Construction Work Done and New Private Capital Expenditure, and a bit of a chat from RBA governor Glenn Stevens on Wednesday. It’s all here in Westpac’s excellent calender of all the key data and events.

4. But here are all the ways China can still blow up the world’s economy.

5. Also having a hard time is Apple, perhaps most notably with the gripes about its most hyped product launch since the iPad. The Apple Watch has two big problems – you need an iPhone nearby for it to work, and some of its apps are slow and buggy. But the tech giant’s hoping it can fix both with this update within a couple of weeks. And speaking of September, here’s everything we know so far about the coming iPhone.

6. Peter Siddle’s heart:

*Actually a blue whale’s heart. It’s been sat in an icy chamber at the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) for a year. When it was alive, it was pumping 227 litres of claret through its owner’s veins every single beat. Now, as it’s being thawed out ready for a proper preservation treatment, scientists are showing it off for a new TV series, “Big Blue Live”.

7. The worst disaster in British aviation show history. It happened on the weekend when the pilot of a Hawker Hunter jet failed to pull out of a loop in time. Tragically, he ditched onto a busy dual carriageway. So far, 11 have been confirmed dead, but somehow, that doesn’t include the pilot. He was pulled from the wreckage and is in a critical condition. Not surprisingly, the whole incident was caught in several videos.

8. Highly paid tech jobs. We hear a lot about them and how there’s a shortage of qualified workers to fill them, but going by this interactive resume, there’s obviously some stiff competition for the top rung:

Josh Butler even got three bids on that one. Here are 19 more amazing examples of creative techie resumes.

9. At the other end of that employer-employee transaction is this run-down of all the most creative, dramatic – and very public – resignations we’ve seen since Jerry Maguire asked: “Who’s coming with me?”

10. The Ashes, and Michael Clarke’s Test career is over. It took Peter Siddle, the man selectors took on tour, but ignored for four Tests, to wrap it up, dislodging three stubborn English tailenders to clinch an outright win. That gave him six for the match and the best bowling average of the series on both sides. England still won the Ashes. Moving on.

BONUS ITEM: The most hated church in the world, Westboro Baptist, got Rick Roll’d by the Foo Fighters. Again:

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