10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Well hello, Friday.

1. Digital media is forever, tirelessly called out for getting too excited, too quickly about breaking news. Fortunately, it can also get back on the right track quickly, just like in those exciting “golden days of print” way back when several editions a day came out and a front page murder in the afternoon had turned into a page 11 suicide in the evening edition. So when we read today’s print headlines – “Shares surge! Aussie rallies! ASX towards 6000!” – which, at the time everyone’s actually reading them, are wrong, wrong, and likely to be wrong, forgive us for having a little slice of cake, then getting back to work straight away. Here’s your update on the crashing Aussie dollar.

2. Locally the day looks set to be dominated with the reverberations from last night’s reversal of fortune. Futures are indicating a down day. After a big technical break yesterday off the recent trading range, short-term traders will be a little nervous.

3. Markets in Asia were a little quieter than they might otherwise had been. But then again, Shanghai has been marching to the beat of its very own gun recently. The Hang Seng managed a big rally on the back of US moves but the Nikkei did not like the yen’s rally.

4. BHP Billiton raised $1 billion. In debt, on the Australian bond market, just after Fortescue Metals Group failed to raise $US2.5 billion in debt because there was no interest from US investors. BHP’s Australian dollar notes will pay interest at 3% and mature in March 2020. The miner said proceeds would be used for general corporate purposes.

5. There’s yet another Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer. At this rate you won’t need to see it in cinemas next month. But anyway, it’s still awesome, and here it is.

6. Hong Kong malls are ridiculously cold. This crocodile that walked on its hind legs is ridiculously evil. This Russian plane is just ridiculous.

7. Comedian Dave Hughes made his AFL Footy Show debut last night and apparently wasn’t funny, if the huge reaction from Twitter this morning is anything to go by. Which, as usual, it isn’t, especially when you consider the quality of the comedy in the negative tweets. This was about as good as it got:

But no doubt someone, somewhere, will think the trending topic is important and do something about it.

8. Here are the salaries of 13 major world leaders. There’s two things to note here – Vladimir Putin, who has been excitedly reported as being worth up to $200bn, doesn’t even feel that tiny $136,000 bulge in his pants pocket; and Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi seriously needs a pay rise. (We’ve added our PM’s big packet in there – note it’s in US dollars.)

9. German media said Greek Finance Minister and one-time Sydney Uni lecturer Yanis Varoufakis gave Germany the finger in a 2013 speech. Varoufakis said he didn’t, but they had video, so Varoufakis admitted he did. Now a German comedian is claiming he made the video, it’s fake, and in the process, melting our brains. Here’s how he claims he did it.

10. A patent for perforated toilet paper filed in 1891 has been dug up to solve the age-old “over versus under” debate, which even has its own Wikipedia section. Still no word on whether you should be a scruncher or folder.

BONUS ITEM: It’s an old one, but it’s been a long week and we just want to share with you why we’re so happy it’s Friday.


Have a great weekend. I’m on Twitter.

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