10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Picture: Marvel Studios

Good morning.

1. Ze Frenchie elections will go to a run-erf. And lefties are horrified, because they now have to choose between centrist Emmanuel Macron and far-right National Front candidate Marine Le Pen. They could look to history for comfort, and remember back in 2002 when Le Pen’s dad made it to the grand final against Jacques Chirac and got monstered, winning just 18% of the vote. But history has been about as great a guide to election outcomes these days as, ooh, let’s say polls, so we’ll only find out for sure on May 7.

2. The Russians sure like Le Pen, who compares being in the EU to jail-time and says NATO is “obsolete”. She also claims sanctions on Russia are absurd, so there are no grey clouds over whether Russia will be working against Macron. Here come the state-sponsored headlines about Macron’s “nontraditional sexual orientation”.

3. But with a pro-Europe candidate officially in the mix, global markets are rallying. The euro surged, gold fell and US stock futures rallied. The Aussie dollar rose, then pulled back again.

4. Most people would only know Jim Cramer as the guy who said Iron Man was “Stark raving mad!” But even fans of his show, Mad Money, know him best for this truly epic “THEY KNOW NOTHING” meltdown nearly 10 years ago, where he approached tears ranting about bank illiquidity:

Now, on the anniversary of that moment, it turns out Cramer actually didn’t go in hard enough.

5. It’s a big week for Trump. He’ll begin his fight for the Obamacare replacement, and plans to introduce his “massive” tax plan. Cue US markets on edge. The border wall, meanwhile, can wait “so we can get started early”:

6. Here’s another amazing bridge in China:

Picture: Next Architects

The “Lucky Knot” was completed late last year by Next architects. It’s actually three separate bridges in Changsha, which interwine at five points known as “moon gates”. Its architects say it’s as much as pedestrian playground as it is a means of getting from one side of the Dragon King Harbour River to the other. We have more pics.

7. If you like pictures of amazing things, 2016’s International Landscape Photographer of the Year competition has just released the winning images online. We have the winner here, from Hougaard Malan:

Hougaard Malan/The International Landscape Photographer of the Year

And 18 more stunning pics here.

8. Sleepless nights are the worst, because they get worse the more you think about how much sleep you’re not getting. And worse again because you know no one at work the next day cares about how crappy you’re feeling. But here’s a great emergency no-sleep schedule to roll out that can help you get through the day and hit the pillow snoring after it.

9. Last year, Tony Yoo rated the Oppo R9 as the worst phone he’d ever used. So Oppo sent him the new R9s, to see if he might change his mind about the budget line popping up everywhere. Here’s why he kind of… didn’t.

10. Much more impressive was flying premium economy on Qantas flight number 7, Airbus A380-800, from Sydney to Dallas. You’ll have to pony up an extra $3000 for the there-and-back-again option, but Tony reckons it’s worth it. In fact, he says it’s as good as business class on some other airlines.

Have a great day.

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