10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Trudeau has limped into a second term. (Photo by Cole Burston, Getty Images)

Get excited, it’s Wednesday.

1. Scandalised Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been re-elected, despite being reduced to minority government. It comes after images of Trudeau wearing brown face 18 years ago emerged to rock his political campaign and cannonball his clean-cut image. Oh, and the revelation that he personally interfered with a prosecution of a Quebec company. Despite that, Trudeau appears to be sticking around for another term.

2. The health warning signs for vaping have been there for a while, but could a conspiracy be afoot? The creator of the nicotine patch Jed Rose reckons it’s all a campaign by big tobacco to kill of the e-cig industry, which so threatens it. The plot thickens.

3. Another day, another Brexit failure. British MPs have rejected PM Boris Johnson’s play to force his deal through Parliament. The EU will now most likely approve another extension and we’ll just keep kicking this can down the road. Brexit 2030?

4. There are 124,000 fewer millionaires in Australia than there was last year, due to fallen house prices and a weak Aussie dollar. In fact, Australia had the worst year in terms of wealth last year of any country, with an enormous $US443 billion wiped from our shores. Maybe it’s time we stopped betting the house on property prices.

5. Meanwhile your retirement dollars could soon be bet on the Australian tech startup scene, as superannuation funds pour another $275 million into a homegrown venture capital fund. This means you could already be invested in companies like Canva, valued most recently at $4.7 billion dollars by some.

6. Our graduate lawyers are so under the pump, new rules are coming to stop them from working themselves to the bone. While proposals are meant to shake up an industry overdue for reform, some senior partners say graduates are so grateful for jobs they’re hardly likely to complain. Lucky them.

7. Speaking of toxic work culture, let’s move our attention to consultancy. Reports have emerged that an Ernst and Young (EY) seminar suggests women have small brains and should avoid talking to men face-to-face. That’s not all. Women, the seminar instructs, also should be manicured and look “fit”, with the company warning they get easily distracted. EY hasn’t yet commented on the reports but it’s difficult to imagine any defence to a 55-page document comparing women’s brains to “pancakes”.

8. Two years on, we took a look at the #MeToo movement to see what it’s achieved. A third of all workers said they’ve started talking about sexual harassment because of the movement and are more ready to call it out when they see it. It’s not without its opponents either, with three in ten men still viewing the movement unfavourably.

9. After going viral singing the phrase, billionaire Kylie Jenner is trying to trademark ‘rise and shine’. It makes her the latest American celebrity to have a tilt at locking up and profiting from intellectual property that, quite frankly, doesn’t belong to them.

10. In the ever-evolving corporate trainwreck, tech pundits are baulking at the “stone-cold crazy” suggestion that WeWork CEO Adam Neumann is going to be handed a $1.7 billion golden parachute. I’m no ‘expert’ but it’s not hard to see their point as WeWork’s valuations continue to plummet amid ongoing revelations of his unusual at best management style. At risk of self-promotion, Business Insider is actually going to launch a Netflix documentary on the rise and fall of WeWork if you just can’t get enough.

Bonus item

I’ll be damned if this isn’t the weirdest thing you’ll see today. The Paris Zoo has introduced its newest ‘creature’ and it’s a mysterious blob. It has no limbs but can move, no brain but can learn and no stomach but can eat. At this stage, it sounds more like a riddle, but it is oddly terrifying and found all over the world. Meet your new overlord.

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