10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

‘Are you havin’ a laff?’ Picture: BBC

Good morning.

1. We’re looking okay. The ASX 200 continued its mini-rise yesterday and is up 3% so far this week but still down 7.3% since the start of 2016. The SPI 200 March contract is giving no lead (-3 points) on the direction stocks will take today, but no lead is better than a bad lead. Some lift in US markets overnight might help as well as news of a tepid oil deal struck between Russia and the Saudis. The Aussie dollar is down around half a per cent from yesterday morning at 71 cents.

2. Believe it or not, iron ore is now in a bull market. Technically.

3. Today in food. Please, please, please stop sharing “news” about McDonald’s burgers that never rot, because, y’know, neither does beef jerky, for pretty much the same reason. And as for that one about pre-grated parmesan cheese extended with wood pulp? Actually, that’s true.

4. Phwoar:

As the US continues its excruciating push to get its underpowered, overpriced fifth-generation fighter into service, Russia’s new PAK FA is as little as two years away from being airborne.
So. Many. Bombs.

5. Is your introvert boss suddenly acting like they’ve won the lottery? Keeping their desk cleaner than usual? Giving you more work? Then they’re probably about to walk. Here are 14 more signs your boss is about to ship out which are important, because it could affect you.

6. Cardinal George Pell was supposed to be in Ballarat today to give evidence at the Royal Commission into Institutional Response to Child Abuse. Unfortunately, he will be too ill to travel from the Vatican in Rome two weeks from now, so will instead Skype it in. As it’s important abuse survivors are part of this process, Meshel Laurie and Gorgi Coghlan have set up a Go Fund Me campaign to raise $55,000 so 15 victims can be by Pell’s side when he appears. They’re at $76,000 and counting.

7. Australia has loads of jobs, but nobody wants to be low-paid. Understandable, but annoyingly, Adzuna’s most recent Job Market Report has highlighted an industry in which paying workers peanuts is both unnecessary and causing a lot of grief – aged care. Aged care vacancies have more than doubled in a year and there’s four times the number of aged care jobs than there are aged care job seekers. And sadly, it looks like all the decent wages are being sucked up by management positions, so no one actually wants to look after our old dears.

8. That time you were skiing in India and nearly ran over one of just 6500 snow leopards left in the world. But caught it on video:

9. On April 30, Warren Buffett’s epic Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting will get under way. And this year, you can be there, because Yahoo is streaming it.

10. A Year 1 teacher scolded a student who couldn’t answer a maths question and ripped up her paper in front of class. The teacher’s assistant sent the video to the New York Times, and now it’s a big deal. The school was Success Academy, which specialises – and succeeds – in helping minority and low-income students achieve high results. Now the question is, are the school’s methods too harsh? Or is the NYT?

Have a better day than this poor man who can’t handle the drugs at the dentist.


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