10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

So hot right now. Picture: Paramount Pictures

Good morning. You can come out of your bunkers.

1. Here’s what happens to stock markets when the world goes to war. But we’re not going to war, so curb your bloodthirst, because right now, stocks are steady and the data tide is starting to turn in the US. Even Bitcoin is cooling off. AUD hit a low of around US78 cents overnight as the greenback strengthened and iron ore fell for the second straight session. ASX200 SPI Futures traders are unfazed for the open.

2. Will Australia’s most depressing chart get even sadder today?

Wage growth is now running under inflation levels but if it continues on that track, there might be a glimmer of good news to be had – essentially, where the WPI moves, Australian interest rates are likely to follow suit. David Scutt has the 10-second guide you need before the data drops at 11.30am AEST.

3. The man in charge of Brexit, David Davis, used to be able to rely on his right-hand man James Chapman, back when Chapman was his former chief of staff as the two worked in the Department for Exiting the European Union. Now:

That’s just one of many hits as Chapman teed off on his former boss.

4. Here’s a retweet that implies the US president doesn’t know what “fascist” means:

Either that, or he really does believe in free speech and divers- oh wait, he’s removed it. Also removed – for now – is the threat of global thermonuclear devastation. It looks like Trump called North Korea’s bluff on Guam, and Kim Jong Un just blinked. Back at home, the US president has now focused all his meltdown energy on Charlottesville, where he’s made sure the “alt-left” knows he thinks they’re as bad as the neo-Nazis.

6. Here’s a valuable bit of food bowl at Casey-South in Victoria, 2011:

Cranbourne East, August 2011. (Source: Nearmap)

And just five years later:

Cranbourne East, March 2017. (Source: Nearmap)

And here are nine other heartbreaking before-and-after images of urban scabbing from Nearmap as it marks its tenth anniversary of aerial mapping our country.

7. “Women basically found that men who ate more vegetables smelled nicer.” That’s the finding from a team at Macquarie University in Australia which made straight women sniff sweaty post-workout T-shirts for science.

8. A former Uber engineer implied Elon Musk was lying when he said Tesla has racked up “millions of miles without incident”. Anthony Levandowski, the former head of Google’s self-driving project Waymo, is in court as Uber defends claims it stole its self-driving technology from Google. In texts, Levandowski told Travis Kalanick they need “to start calling Elon on his s..t”:

“I’m not on social media but let’s start ‘faketesla’ and start give physics lessons about stupid s..t Elon says.”

9. BI’s own Sarah Kimmorley just happens to be “working” at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas this week. Downstairs, the new SJP Collection shoes were being launched – SJP as in “Sarah Jessica Parker”, star of Sex and the City. And because this is Vegas, when Kimmorley found a $US400 pair she couldn’t resist, the person who knelt down in front of her to make sure they were the perfect fit was… Sarah Jessica Parker:

Is this real life? Photo: Sarah Kimmorley.

Squee! Here’s what BI Sarah learnt from SatC Sarah about service.

10. The New York Metro Transit Authority has been quietly shuffling the bodies of people killed on the train tracks into rooms where subway employees rest, use the bathroom and eat lunch. “You have pieces, you have blood spatter,” one employee told NY1 News. “If a lunch room is the nearest, they will put it in the lunch room.”

BONUS ITEM: Dogs will do anything for a viral video and a biscuit:

Have a great day.

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