10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

It’s a whole new world of NSFW. Picture: Comedy Central

Good morning, to the five o’clock me inside my clothes.

1. North Korea just fired another missile. It was headed eastward and emergency alerts in Japan were issued. One account claims that it passed over Hokkaido at 7:06am local time and over to the Pacific Ocean.

2. Markets. There’s no “fallout” from the North Korea launch just yet, but the UK pound was the overnight star after the Bank of England kept rates on hold at 0.25%. The Aussie dipped overnight on a poor week from commodities and base metal prices, and crypto fans are getting hit again after Chinese regulators say an exchange ban is certain. Bitcoin fell another 6.6% and Ethereum is down a whopping $17. The S&P500 edged lower on a hint of a December rate hike in the US, and the FTSE fell more than 1%, but ASX200 futures traders have marked the local index slightly higher to end the week.

3. Tesla is ready to get into big rigs:

Musk made the announcement yesterday and some details have already leaked. Tesla may have already been testing a prototype and rather than carrying a huge expensive battery, the truck is more likely to support battery swapping. And talk of a starting price of $US100,000 has to be missing a zero somewhere. Shareholders, however, were unimpressed with the 2020 delivery target – maybe because they know that in Musk Talk, that could mean 2022 or beyond.

4. Yes, Musk has failed before – spectacularly and expensively:

But explosions like that are exactly why SpaceX is so successful, says Musk. Which is why he just released this supercut of a bunch of SpaceX explosions, some of which have never been shown in public until now.

5. Millennials are actually an employer’s dream. If you just choked on your All Bran a little at that, you’re a Gen X or Baby Boomer. And if you’re a Boomer, remember – your generation was also once referred to as the “me generation”. And those following millennials – Gen Z – are “just as Gen X would have been today had Gen Xers been born 35 years later”. Yes, this is a controversial, but fascinating report on the generation wars. It even praises helicopter parenting.

6. There’s not a lot of room for character development, but Game of Thrones is introducing two new characters in Season 8. We know, because we have the casting descriptions for “Northern Girl” and “Boy”, here.

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7. South Park launched season 21 with some good shots at white supremacists and Kendrick Lamar. But their best trick was having Cartman ask Alexa to “add a scrotum bag to my shopping list”. And across the US, South Park viewers with Alexa devices were suddenly deleting scrotum bags from their next shopping list:


8. Today in gambling, Samsung is betting $US300 million on the future of autonomous vehicles. Bono, Tony Hawk and Jared Leto got a lot richer after their bet on Blue Bottle Coffee just paid off. And if anyone put a $US100 let-it-ride bet on the Cleveland Indians at the start of the season, they’d be collecting $US1,179,048 right now. Unless they let it ride again. (Do it.)

9. There’s a secret war about to break out in Europe, as the combined forces of Lubeniya and Vesbasriya try to take over Veishnoriya. Like they have done most years since the 70s. NATO is so worried this time it has deployed four international battalions to Poland, Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia for safety precautions. If you haven’t already guessed, we’re talking about Russia’s annual war games in Belarus, which this year is freaking the West out more than usual. Luckily, the Poms can bang an aircraft carrier together in under two minutes.

10. There’s another war going on under the streets of London. Between eight Thames Water workers and this:

White chapel Fatberg 2 largerImagine what’s under Glasgow. Picture: Thames Water

Just a small portion of a fatberg made up of oil, grease and a billion Wet Wipes blocking 300 metres of a major sewer line. Total weight: 143 disgusting tons.

BONUS ITEM: Tradie pranks are the best pranks. Language warning, obvs, because tradies:

Have a great weekend. Go the Bloods.

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