10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

You know it makes sense. Picture: TriStar

Good morning. There’s only three Fridays left for 2016.

1. People say Donald Trump shouldn’t tweet because he’s about to be US President, but they’re wrong. Trump’s account is about the only thing Twitter has left going for it, because we get to see his hilarious tantrums almost every day when, say, someone criticises his restaurants:

Meanwhile, in news just in, the Daily Mail is reporting Trump has tapped Sylvester Stallone for a senior arts role because the Hollywood icon is “the perfect choice to make art great again”.

2. Markets have stormed home in 2016 and it looks like investors swallowed the Fed rate hike without too much trouble. US markets climbed overnight and the US dollar is “cutting a swathe” through currency markets, says Greg McKenna. The Aussie dollar is around 73 and a half US cents and futures traders on the ASX are betting on a solid day with the March 2017 SPI 200 contract up 11 points this morning.

3. We’ve only got two podcasts left for 2016, so enjoy this one where we talk with one of Australia’s most forthright economists, “The Kouk”, about Australia’s surprise negative GDP number, the outlook for the federal budget and risks in the housing market. You can find the show on iTunes or listen in below:

4. A 73-year-old former UK newspaper editor who gets to start his name with “Sir” reckons he knows what it feels like to be black in the 1980s. You’re probably thinking that’s so incredible, “you couldn’t write that”, but Simon Jenkins did, in The Guardian. Jenkins said if you were looking for an important job right now, “the best thing you can possibly be at the moment is a black woman”.

5. The new – and first – Super Mario game for iPhone was released overnight, and Ben Gilbert finished it in three hours. Gilbert said it was “gorgeous” but it also costs $10, which seems a bit steep unless Nintendo plans on rolling out a stack of extra content.

6. Mexican drug kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán is in prison awaiting escape guarded by 75 agents, with 600 soldiers and police patrolling outside. He’s locked up in Ciudad Juarez, the most murderingest city in the world and his lawyer says El Chapo “is scared”. Scared “of the cold that we have in this city”. He just won an appeal for an extra blankey.

7. The US Navy is catapulting trucks off aircraft carriers, because you would too if you could:

And because it’s a great way to test its Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System.

8. “Fruit is fruit. Meat is meat.” Erin Brodwin thinks just like any right-minded person would. But when she was out of chicken, her colleagues at BI suggested she try jackfruit. Raw, it tastes like mango/pineapple. But shredded, sliced and cooked, it’s supposed to taste like meat, and could help “end world hunger”. So Brodwin braved a serve of Chilli Lime Carnitas, and was… blown away.

9. Uh-uh-oh Haram-be. Even kids were having a great time processing the shooting death of a beloved zoo gorilla in 2016. It’s been that kind of year. The best way to look at how humans saw it is in memes like this:

Here are the best 11 topics of 2016.

10. Remember when we wondered what you’d do in the extremely likely event you’ll lose one of Apple’s tiny wireless AirPods? Now, Apple has an answer – it will replace it. For half the cost of a pair. Why that warrants a story goes against all we’re taught as journalists, but it’s popular right now, so here’s the link. You people.

BONUS ITEM: Yes, Joon Lee. Yes it is:

If you just watched that without sound, turn it on and watch it again, because everything from Japan needs sound. And this is all you need to know about paper-rock-scissors in Japan. Or rock-paper-scissors.

Have a great weekend.

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