10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Not watching The Princess Bride tonight? Inconceivable. Picture: 20th Century Fox

1. Cape Town is doing a fine job of saving water as three years of drought threatens its four million residents with the prospect of having to queue for water. That day, “Day Zero”, has shifted around from April 21 to April, then May 11. But it’s now been pushed back to June 4 as citizens have managed to cut their water usage from one billion litres of water per day in 2016 to 526 million litres per day today. Still, tension is building, as is the threat of anarchy.

2. In other Day Zero news, Australia’s deputy PM could be tapped on the shoulder today. There are reports Nationals MPs are worried that getting his staffer pregnant while married and spending 50 nights in Canberra when parliament wasn’t sitting might have done something to erode the public’s confidence in Barnaby Joyce.

3. Markets were… quiet. In the US, traders are waiting for tonight’s January inflation figures, where any number higher than 1.7% could set off some big moves again. German inflation data will also be watched closely. Back home, futures traders are pricing in a modestly positive opening for the ASX200, and the dollar failed to make any ground on greenback weakness overnight. Crypto fans will be watching Litecoin today – a fork is coming.

4. Bill and Melinda Gates have sent out their annual Gates Letter, and this year they answered the question: “Is it fair that you have so much influence?” No, it isn’t, they said. They also explained how they work together without fighting, and Bill revealed the two reasons he’s giving away their $US90 billion fortune.

5. You probably wouldn’t be thinking about how unfair the world is while sipping a Tom Collins aboard this:

Burgess Triple 8

The Burgess Triple 8 is one of the many multimillion yachts on the water right now at the Miami Yacht Show. Extravagant? Maybe:

Fraser Yachts

Step inside eight of the best right here.

6. In case you forgot, it’s Valentine’s Day. Lovers in the US will spend nearly $US20 billion on flowers and tat to celebrate the day a Roman physician and priest was beaten, stoned, and beheaded for marrying Christian couples. You’ll probably watch a movie instead. Choose The Princess Bride from these 27 best romantic comedy movies of all time, according to critics. Or try something filmed in Manhattan. According to Hollywood, it’s the most romantic place to film a romance in the world.

7. Yep:

Things are moving fast now. We’ve even got a robot Winter Olympics under way, and the pics of headless mechanoids hurtling down the slopes are hilarious. And Renault has built an autonomous car so advanced it’s illegal.

8. Careful where you point that Russian-made T-72 battle tank:

Or that might happen. The US military just released that video, saying the tank was lining up US special ops forces defending a position in Syria. And another report claims up to another 300 Russian mercenaries were killed in a skirmish earlier this month. If that’s true, it was the deadliest encounter between the Cold War rivals in decades.

9. In the Philippines, government forces are shooting women in the vagina. That’s because their boofhead president told them to.

10. In weird/gross medical news, an American woman said she fell asleep with a severe headache and woke up with a British accent. Here’s how that happens, and the case of the poor Norwegian woman who woke up with a German accent during World War II. And if your eye is red and irritated, it might be because there are 14 worms in it. Bad news: it’s a new species. Worse news: you have to pull them out yourself.

BONUS ITEM: No one does insulting political satire like the Germans:

Picture: Getty Images

Here’s more coverage of the annual Rosenmontag procession.

Have a great day.

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