10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Photo: ChinaFotoPress/ ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images.

Good morning.

1. First, markets. The ASX opens stuck wondering whether to focus on a decent risk rally out of Europe and the US, or rubbish Chinese retail sales and industrial production data released over the weekend. SPI futures rallied 42 points, 0.8% in trade Friday night, so here’s hoping we’ll stick with the winning side. Greg McKenna reckons we’ll shoot through the 5150/5200 resistance zone today. The dollar’s starting from its highest close since July 2, 2015, at 0.7563.

2. But if you insist on backing China, here are 6 lessons to learn if you want to make money betting on the world’s second largest economy. They’re from Landor’s global brand consultants, based in the UK and across China, using studies from Credit Suisse, The Economist, and Brandlab. So you know they’re good.

3. Data! Not a lot to note here at home, except a bit of RBA housekeeping with notes Tuesday from the March board meeting and a speech from assistant governor Guy Debelle on Thursday, along with the February labour force report. Offshore we’ve got Japan machine orders today, retail sales and a FOMC meeting Tuesday in the US, UK jobless claims Wednesday, NZ GDP Thursday and Canada retail and CPI Friday. That should keep you busy. The rest is here in Greg McKenna’s diary.

4. You might have enjoyed catching up on the weekend with the wacky kids sending Simpsons picture to Channel 7 after claiming they had an awesome tip-off to share. Brilliantly, news outlets the world over are now suffering for their lazy attempts to get everyone else to do their jobs for them:

Photo: Dallas Williams/ Four Finger Discount.

There’s more here.

5. It’s Tech Stuff Monday. One in seven people on the planet check Facebook every day, but Snapchat’s paltry 100 million users watch 8 billion videos a day. That’s why Facebook has tried to buy it twice, has released two failed Snapchat clones and is now paying celebrities to use its Live video product. And now it’s trying again to halt the Snapchat video juggernaut by buying Masquerade, a proper war is breaking out between the two.

6. This war’s already under way, but on May 9, the battle between Oracle and Google gets interesting. It’s when a jury will decide whether Google owes Oracle tens of billions for using its Java software in building Android. And even if it doesn’t, the process might reveal some juicy details about Android’s business. You know they’re juicy because Google has been petitioning the court to keep them under wraps.

7. Facts o’ the day belong to Microsoft. Here are 10 things you probably didn’t know about the 1970s startup, including this video of famed music producer and Brian Eno playing the startup sound to Windows 95, which he wrote and actually had to play live just for Bill Gates, several times a day, for three years until Windows 98 came out:

8. And Lee Sedol finally beat DeepMind at Go. But only after losing the opening three matches straight in the best-of-five series, so DeepMind might have had a bit of a hangover.

9. In Dubai, your kid’s cheetah doesn’t need to wear a seatbelt:

Yes, the Rich Kids of Dubai are back and here are 23 more Instagrams of their outrageous wealth, just to make you feel Monday a little bit more.

10. Now we’re even saving your marriage. Here are 15 things to do when you realise your job is destroying your relationship. And we give this stuff away for free. Free.

BONUS ITEM: Not only can robots beat us at complex board games, they can hold conversations and are funnier than Aussie stand-ups:

Have a great day.

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