10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Mess with the best, die like the rest. Picture: United Artists

Good morning.

1. The most successful tech IPO of the year. Congratulations Atlassian, which held onto its 32% jump on Thursday’s listing, and now has a valuation of $5.7 billion – nearly $2.5 billion more than its last private market valuation. That’s a rare feat these days, and there’s one standout reason why Wall Street loves Atlassian – because cloud, schmoud.

2. BHP has always paid a dividend, even during the GFC. But if the Big Australian sticks to its policy of looking after its biggest fans – shareholders – it could soon be hurting itself. Deutsche Bank analysts say there’s some parallels emerging with the recent, very rapid demise of the other mining giant, Anglo American.

3. A bad day ahead. There’s no other way of slicing it, because you name it and it’s down. The S&P 500, SPI 200 futures and global pre-FOMC stock market sentiment – down, down, down and threatening to break the uptrend from the September lows. Only data can save us now, and there’s a heap coming in the form of the RBA minutes, the federal government’s mid-year fiscal update, and global data which started with yesterday’s huge China dump. The big one, of course, is the US Fed call 6am Thursday, but that’s so obvious it’s virtually priced in before it happens. Here’s the NAB’s diary of all you need to know about the week ahead for markets.

4. The Aussie dollar is holding up, and here’s why that’s important. Because everyone likes 1$ petrol, especially at Christmas. Let’s not get too excited, too early, but if the battler stays steady and crude oil continues to crash through the floor, the magic price mark might come into play at the bowser. On Friday, the International Energy Agency world oil markets “will remain oversupplied at least until late 2016”.

5. New big tanks. The US Marine Corps has a powerful new assault vehicle, and if you don’t want to watch what an Ultra Heavy-Lift Amphibious Connector does, look away now:

It’s 15 metres long, and can carry three tanks from ship to shore and up over a three-metre high seawall if it has to. Better – the proper version will be twice as big.

6. Aussie “bitcoin inventor” Dr Craig Steven Wright is still hiding, both in the real world and online. But the stories about his crazy life keep on coming. Here’s one about how he once hacked into his own coffee machine and, oh, the time he managed to access a Boeing 747’s engine control system via the plane‚Äôs video system. And here’s one about how he sold $85m in Bitcoin for gold, but never got the gold.

7. Hackers. Not just a great movie starring Brad Pitt’s wife and that Pommy bloke out of Elementary, or something your McAfee patch is doing things about in the bottom right-hand corner. In 2015, hackers were building stuff like this thing here on the right:
That’s a $30 gadget that can open just about any car or garage that uses keyless locks. Here’s more on that and the scariest hacks of 2015, including the times they also controlled petrol bowsers, car brakes and hospitals.

8. Merry Macca’s Christmas. Marisabel Figueroa was working the drive-thru when one customer, Torie Keene, asked to pay for the food of the people behind her and “wish them a Merry Christmas”. Six hours later, Figeuora was stunned to mark off the 250th person in a row who paid for the food of the person behind them. Now that’s a pay-it-forward.

9. Remember them. Tomorrow marks a year since lone gunman Man Haron Monis entered the Lindt Cafe in Martin Place, just before 10am, taking 18 people hostage. It ended 14 hours later when police stormed the cafe and three people died, including Monis. Yesterday, NSW Premier Mike Baird unveiled this winning design for a permanent memorial at Martin Place:

It’s one of hundreds of floral cubes which will be inlaid into the pavings at Martin Place and lit up at night. Here’s how it will look.

10. Unpopular? Socially awkward? Real estate agent? Here’s a simple trick to make people like you in two seconds. Promise.

BONUS ITEM: See if you can guess what this is:

Picture: University of the West of England

OK, we’ll tell you. But you wouldn’t believe that these urine-powered socks were powered by urine even if we told you.

Have a great day.

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