10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Nothing is real. Picture: Warner Bros

Morning!

1. Everyone has gone mad. Last week, the Macquarie global equities team sent out a note to clients proposing we colonise Mars as a way to soak up all the world’s lazy capital. Today, it’s BAML’s turn to rock Fridays. It’s warning clients that there’s a “20%-50% chance” we’re inside the matrix and reality is just a simulation. But as Myles Udland notes, “the investment implications remain unclear”.

2. How to end your run for US president in three words. Gary Johnson is the Libertarian candidate in the November election, and he got to make his case yesterday on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”. And he blew it, when he was asked by Mike Barnicale what he’d do about Aleppo, by giving this response:

“What is Aleppo?”

He even had a chance to admit he was kidding, and he blew that too. So here, Gary Johnson, is what Aleppo is.

3. In other great questions to US presidential candidates overnight, a reporter had a great one for Hillary Clinton along the lines of “if Trump is so bad, shouldn’t you be running away with the election?” Here’s her non-reply. And because he’s Alec Baldwin, here’s Alec Baldwin saying why he thinks Donald Trump could have won the election, but won’t.

5. Big cities are noisy, dirty, crowded and expensive. So it’s no wonder companies like Envato which allow staff to work from anywhere are becoming popular employers of choice, especially for first home-owners who can’t afford to buy within a three-hour return commute of work. That has to change, according to Ian Harper, one of Australia’s foremost economists. He sat down with our editor-in-chief Paul Colgan for a robust discussion on why it’s essential cities put people with great ideas on each other’s doorsteps. It’s all about innovation and creativity, folks.

(Not midnight beers.)

6. Where did I come from? It’s a billion-dollar question we’ve been asking for millennia, so it’s only fair it deserves a billon-dollar answer. Literally. NASA is spending $1 billion on a spacecraft which launched this morning on a mission to scoop some dirt off an asteroid. Here’s why NASA thinks the 1.7-tonne OSIRIS-REx probe is worth the risk. And here’s a great pic of about $2.3 billion worth of F-22 Raptors escaping a storm by squeezing into NASA’s Langley Research Center:

NASA Langley Research Center hangarNASA Langley Research Center provides shelter for Langley Air Force Base F-22 Raptors. Picture: David C. Bowman/NASA, Langley

4. In the markets, US stocks slipped a little, bonds sold off and the US dollar found some support. So the SPI 200 is down again off 13 points for a floppy start today to follow yesterday’s big 0.7% fall. Oil’s heading up as it looks increasingly likely the Saudis are ready to support an OPEC production freeze. The Aussie dollar is 90 points off the high around 0.7730 and iron ore is starting to fade. Again. But if you’re struggling to make sense of it all, here’s a strange moment – the US Fed just admitted that a startup can predict its upcoming interest rate forecasts.

7. The iPhone 7 certainly got everyone interested yesterday. Here’s BI’s Ben Gilbert on why Apple has terrible reasons for removing the iPhone’s headphone jack. And here’s BI’s Matthew Stuart on Apple ditching the headphone jack actually makes a lot of sense, so you can’t say we’re not objective. Here’s how the iPhone 7 compares to the Samsung Galaxy S7, and here’s what happens if you lose your $US149 Apple Airpods, apart from you starting to look less ridiculous immediately.

8. Just another ordinary, suburban house in San Francisco?

Wrong. It’s a 10-bedder, and behind its walls are 38 millennials so desperate to live in the city that they’re paying a minimum of $850 for a bunk. But the love is strong – inmates residents say they share an average of 1330 hugs a week and twirl tiki torches. Only “all-round awesome people” need apply.

9. You probably need to bring your own linen grocery bags too, in the mistaken belief you’re saving the environment. But reusing a single plastic bag three times has the same environmental impact as using a cotton tote bag 393 times. So look after it, or you’ll kill the world even more.

10. Tim Ferriss, the famous author of “The 4-hour Workweek” once woke up with rug burns on his face after spending two hours the night before feeling “like I was being torn apart and killed a thousand times a second”. But here’s why he wishes everyone would understand why he loves the hallucinogenic drink ayahuasca.

BONUS ITEM: Speaking of world turned upside down, this redditor did a marvellous thing with Australia and the US:

Australia vs US – with Australia flipped upside down from australia

Have a great weekend.

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