10 things you need to know in Australia this morning

Jon Stewart needed an attitude adjustment. Picture: WWE/YouTube

1. So, where are we? Chinese stocks tanked – again. US stocks rallied, then tanked. And Europe got a boost after the Peope’s Bank of China weighed in by cutting the reserve requirement for banks and dropping lending rates by 0.25%. So all that means for the local market is a solid rally on the SPI futures, which had taken them to a high of 5,254, has ended with September futures suggesting the ASX will open around 47 points, 1%, lower this morning.

2. Don’t panic, stay happy. If you want to know what the numbers say about what happens to stocks after violent sell-offs, here’s four stats that prove history favours the optimists.

3. And here’s a few experts which say you’re all just going to have to suck it up. Here’s a great summation by Sam Ro on why things Gerard Minack and David Rosenberg said yesterday means life just got hard for lazy investors. Ha ha. And CBA’s boss Ian Narev said volatility is the new norm. It’s okay for him to be cocky, though. Amid the horror start to the week, UBS said it was time to buy CBA.

4. And while everyone wants to blame China for the rout, Deutsche Bank’s Torsten Sløk says there are two big problems with that. China usually blames outside forces and short-sellers, but it’s changed its tune and is now trying to tell the world “it’s complicated”. Investors simply don’t understand China’s growth model, it says, which has merely transitioned from “phenomenal” to “still better than yours”.

5. At least Australia’s economic transition is very real. Here it is, in a single chart:

Services and agricultural exports (on the right hand vertical axis) now total around $10 billion combined each quarter. Add in manufacturing and it comes to a ball park $13 billion. That’s roughly the size of the mining export sector, which is falling. It effectively shows that the future of Australia’s economy lies in the services sector – education, tourism, financial and professional services – that has been steadily growing for a decade.

6. Anyway, on a galactic level, it’s all just a speed bump compared with news from far, far away, where we might have just learnt a bit more about what’s going on in the Dark Side of the Force. JJ Abrams gave Empire magazine enough hints about who “Snoke” and Kylo Ren are for our own Steve Kovach to pull together some extended thoughts about “The Force Awakens” and what happened to Luke after RotJ.

7. Brilliant:

That’ll be $2.1 million, thanks, because if you break the the 350-year-old Paolo Porpora oil painting, kid, you buy it. But not really – organisers of the Face of Leonardo: Images of a Genius exhibition in Taipei understand the boy was clumsy, and will foot the bill for the restoration. You can see the damage here.

8. Chasing money in your 20s will cripple your career, according to Marc Lore, who chased money in his 20s then went on and became extremely rich as founder and CEO of Jet.com. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t learn a few things about how to be good at being rich and successful. He’s one of 11 successful people in LinkedIn’s “If I Were 22” series that are sharing what they wish they’d known about money in their 20s.

9. Are you the musically gifted, left-handed, pot-smoking cat-owner in the family? Then you’re also probably smarter than most people, if this infographic is anything to go by.

10. In sport, Jon Stewart gave the world an explanation for why he betrayed John Cena and helped Seth Rollins claim the WWE World Heavyweight and United States Championships. Amazingly, it makes sense, unlike the Polish world champion hammer thrower who got so drunk he paid for his taxi fare home with his gold medal.

BONUS ITEM: How bad are things in China right now? This bad:

Have a great day.

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