10 things you need to know in Australia this morning

Poor NAB. Photo: Miguel Villagran/ Getty.

Good morning.

1. The big four banks are hiking their rates. They’re also continuing their run of record profits this week with a combined full year cash profit of than $30 billion, a rise of more than 6%, expected. Huh. Once you’ve had a lie down and that sick feeling has passed, here’s what to look for in each of their upcoming reports – and NAB’s disappointing $5.84 billion “miss”.

2. To the markets, where we could talk about the ASX, but it’s going nowhere, resting right on the top of the old trading box and waiting for a break lower. The Aussie dollar, however, is much more interesting. A 0.7% fall back under 72 cents overnight should be a warning sign for stock bulls who use it as a bellwether for global growth trades. As they should.

3. There’s no reason why a rational person should think this study of where women and men like to be touched gets a little weird. It’s science, after all. But it still gets a little weird.

4. At the risk of repeating ourselves, there’s a new Star Wars trailer. But this one’s different – it’s for the new Star Wars game “Battlefront”, which is out November 17. And yes, games never live up to trailers (never), but the action in this is phenomenal:

So phenomenal in fact, every Force nerd in the galaxy will be asking the same question today – why can’t the movies be this good?

5. Back to space, where a mysterious chunk of space debris called is headed straight for Earth. So mysterious, it’s been dubbed “WTF”. Well, “WT1190F”. And it’s not really mysterious – it’s a piece of our junk and we just don’t know what it is, but we’re studying it for a very good reason. And if you want really interesting space scioence, here’s our boffins getting another step closer to making tractor beams work.

6. Remember that time you were on the FOB when the IDP hit, so you radioed the TOC? If you answered “yes”, you must have been – or are – in the US military. Here are another 24 phrases only you’ll understand. (Along with any BI readers who check it out.)

7. Just look at this enormous dog flying first class on American Airlines earlier this week:

Sorry about the language, but we thought it was appropriate in this instance. And while we’re in first class, here’s what it was like for this guy who used a frequent-flyer loophole to take a $60,000 trip in a first class suite on Emirates Airlines.

8. Hello, Sydneysiders. You’re so busy your government has given retailers the option of opening 24 hours daily for a fortnight in the lead up to Christmas. According to planning minister Rob Stokes, it’s so “time-deprived mums and dads can buy their gifts, and avoid the hassle of busy carparks and long queues”. Which can also be read as “time to have a good, hard look at yourselves”.

9. Tech today. The European Union dealt a blow to net neutrality on Tuesday by – no, stick with this because it’s important – not including new amendments that would prevent so-called “fast lanes” on the internet. Here’s why that’s important. It potentially means big business can pay to prioritise their content on your web. And don’t think for a second businesses will be able to compete, because they won’t. And don’t think you’ll deliberately choose a “slow web” in solidarity if such a thing is ever possible, because you won’t – you’ve got Netflix. It’s a major step down the road of turning the most amazing gift humans have given themselves into the information superhighway equivalent of Woolworths.

10. Hey, young people. Remember what the GFC was like, especially for tech stocks? No? Well lucky for you, Marc Andreessen, founder of Andreessen Horowitz, is there to remind you with an epic tweetstorm including gems like this:

BONUS ITEM: All of James Bond’s one-night stands, in one excellent KitKat ad.

Have a great day.

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