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10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Stop denying it. Picture: E!


1. Did you notice this float by?

The rest of the world did, and global markets spiked because of it.

2. It may have saved the day, because markets looked like they were reaching for the panic button. The Dow recovered from being down heavily, crude bounced sharply, gold pulled back from its highs, and USDJPY rallied from its lows. But the S&P finished at 1835, down 0.87% after making a low at 1810 during trade, so maybe that support cooled some heads. Either way, the ASX is likely to open down again with the March SPI 200 futures down 36 points.

3. Some politics, where Barnaby Joyce is the new Nationals leader. We know why Malcom Turnbull backflipped on the GST. And here’s a great piece from Mark Textor on the rise and rise of tactical voting, an emerging force in this year’s federal election.

4. There’s one problem with time-honoured advice. It’s time-honoured because it’s old. And sometimes, it sneaks past its use-by date and no one notices. But Oaktree Capital’s Howard Marks has spotted 16 pieces of time-honoured advice about investing that if you keep following them, they could cost you. And here they are.

5. We really, really love science, so much we could swear about it. But today’s “Earth-shattering” discovery which has a “90 per cent chance of winning a Nobel Prize” is, sadly, one purely for the scientists. They’ve prove Einstein was right, black holes exist and the gravitational waves they give off bend the fabric of space/time. So far, that means a machine built to measure these waves (the breakthrough is it’s succeeded in doing so) can alert us to watch for a supernova about to happen, rather than seeing it after the fact. So yeah, still no cure for cancer.

6. Rowr. Spotify has crunched the numbers on what songs pop up most frequently when listeners want to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. So here’s your Valentine’s Night playlist:

7. Try not to share it with your boss. Especially if he or she shows these 16 awkward signs they have a crush on you.

8. Apple fans are getting excited about “hearing motor noises” coming from the company’s mysterious satellite campus in Sunnyvale, California. Which is exactly why they should stick to getting hot and sweaty about force touches and USB Cs instead of speculating about cars which, if they existed, definitely won’t betray their construction with any exhaust rumble.

9. Reality TV never died, like everyone hoped it would. Except when we say “everyone” when – in real life – mean “no one”, because we know you’re all still watching this:


Now, for just $5.99 a month, you can watch Hayu. It’s the latest streaming service to hit Australia and it will give you 3000 episodes about people falling over trying to put their knickers on, with another 500 added each year. Fill your boots.

10. How much is the commodity crash hurting the big miners? In 2014, Rio Tinto booked net earnings of $US6.5 billion. Yesterday, we learnt how things went in 2015 and it wasn’t great – down $US866 million. So a $US7.7 billion cut in just 12 months. The mining crunch is here.

BONUS ITEM: Sacha Baron Cohen – Borat – has a new movie out soon, and Jimmy Kimmel’s audience got a sneak peek at one scene that couldn’t be shown on TV. So here’s how it went down with Kimmel and his studio crowd:

Have a great weekend.

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